A friend of mine recently got engaged and asked me to help her with her guest list, one question in particular, “Who should I extend a plus one to?” I remember struggling with the same question, and here is my short (and hopefully simple answer). There are a few different situations and things to consider, so here it goes:
1. Either you’re letting each of your guests have a plus one or your not. If you are not, you need to decide why you aren’t.
2. If the person is married, a plus one is necessary, whether you have met (or like) their spouse or not. Sorry, but for me this is non-negotiable. Example: if you’re letting everyone but your friend Tami, whose husband you hate, invite a plus one, I see you running into a few problems. If your friend Tami is important to you, it’s not your decision on whether her husband is a good guy, he’s her husband and unfortunately for you, now a guest at your wedding.
3. If the person is younger (and therefore not married) but has a boyfriend who she has been dating for years, I think a plus one is something you should extend.
4. Everyone in your wedding party deserves the invitation to invite someone to the wedding, whether there are seriously dating someone or will bring a random bum from the side of the road. Remember they are doing a LOT for you, letting them have someone there to dance with, etc. is a nice invitation to extend to the people in your wedding party.
5. If you’re having people attend a destination wedding you must remember that people are spending a good amount of money to be at your wedding and will probably use the time to have a mini-vacation and attend your special day. Destination weddings should extend a plus one (and, if applicable, an invitation for children) to all guests.
At the end of the day, it’s your wedding and you can invite whomever you want. My thinking was that I wanted to piss as few people off as possible, and if it was important for a friend of mine to bring their boyfriend, whom id met only a few times, and I had the room (and money to do so), why wouldn’t I?
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